I need to put gumboots on my driftwater poet. And I need to apply hammer and weatherboards to my wild ocean world. Because if I don't, I will never make dreams come true.
I did not need to sell stories for real before. It was just a matter of love and luxury. And now, in need, I'm frightened - because I can no longer pretend success is not important, and I can not avoid the risk of rejection, the failure of this precious lifelong treasure of a dream.
Now I must face it fully : am I a good enough writer to sell my writing for real? Or am I more water than poet?
Am I?
And if not, why was I given this desperate word-longing, this inability to breathe comfortably without writing it down? Was that the gift, or was it learning to let go of wishes ... to sit alone beside a sea and watch them fly away, like lost pages, turning white to grey to invisible against the endless sky, while everyone else gets on with their love?
12 notes:
You know I think you far surpass the moniker of "good enough writer". I truly hope you find success as the writer you are. I'm not sure if there is anything one lone reader can do but if I can help in anyway please let me know.
ah, but i'm trembling on the same shore....
*sigh*
something in me is telling me that the biggest lesson of all is looming...sort of a deadline or ultimatum.
and that terrifies me beyond reason.
i know you understand.
i wish i knew why i have so much entangled in this notion of 'being a writer' -- as if i can't simply accept the so-called wisdom that because i write, i am one by default. something must have been drilled into our young souls at some point along the way to train such thinking.
i don't know if unraveling that is what i need to do, or if i just need to get the pen-knife out of my rucksack and cut myself loose.
holding you in my heart...xoxox
You ABSOLUTELY are good enough!! More than good enough. Your work is breathtaking, truly. I don't dish out writing compliments lightly. :)
Of course the biz end of things is utterly crazymaking (oh the stories I could tell), but if you brace yourself for that ahead of time, well, it's awfully nice to earn your bread and butter doing what you love.
I carried this thought with me from Pilgrim Soul, one of your other places: "There is no fear at the heart of things. There is only truth, and we can know it any moment we turn to it and listen." Sarah, you must know that your writing is better than "good enough".
Don't give up! It may take time to promote your work so that it actually gets read by a publisher. Once it happens, I know that success will be yours.
Thank you all. I must get threaded comments over here too, but in the meanwhile ...
Diana, thank you so much. Just your positive thoughts help, I truly believe that.
Mel, I know. At least you have another income for your family! I'm not worried over being a writer, I know I am a writer (although its harder to say I am a poet) The question is, can I get published, sell books, earn enough money so I can be a writer not a waitress or worse a teacher.
Thank you Lissa, your words mean so much to me. I actually have a comment from you pasted to the front page of my w.i.p. to keep me on track and encouraged! (I'm coming near the end of the first draft now, but since it's unlikely to be more than 100 pages long I have a lot more work to do on it, lol!) I only hope one day a publisher will feel the same as you. I can of course slef-publish again, but that's a big risk in the face of necessity.
Susan, you are a lovely and good friend. :-) I am so grateful for you.
I'll bet you didn't know there was such an option as slef-publishing, did you? It's when you skip both the publishing companies and yourself and you take your manuscript to a tiny marsh monster, which chews it up and ... well, I've run out of time (and patience) to continue with that silly little story. Suffice it to say if I want to self-publish again I'd better learn to spell check!
I have missed reading you...sharing in your world via your blog.
I think you are a wonderful writer.
((hugs))
Your tiny manuscript-chewing marsh monster gave me such a smile this morning. I'm pretty sure one of those lives under my bed.
I don't know if I'm qualified to say who is a "good" writer or not, but all I know is that I love your writing. The two books I already have from you are read often, by both my daughter and myself. I cherish them.
Thank you Kate :-)
Dawn, that is one of the best compliments anyone has ever given me. It ranks up alongside, "your daughter is a delight to be around, she has such good manners." You really touched my heart deep this morning. To know that people actually reread my books ... and that your daughter reads them ... oh, you don't know what that means to me.
Sarah...I am sitting here wondering what form you "see" your very-much-needed-and-worthy wordsmithing taking?
Is there one thing-novel, children's book, poetry-that you aim for or a mixture or what? My thoughts are trying to picture your words (possibly images?) in print and could do with some reining in.
Lesley, I am currently writing a YA novel that is in poem form. Sort of poem form. Deconstructed sentences to show the vital silences.
I'm also working on a collection of short stories which are for an adult audience.
And my next project is based on The Quick Wife.
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